Preparing for the Ah Gate Family - July 2008

Jill Coughlin is heading up the team of volunteers who will be working with Ah Gate, Ah Mee and their family when they arrive this month. A lot of time, effort and amazing generosity of Gracer's has gone into the preparations for their arrival. Mike & Kim Ricker drove many miles throughout the valley to pick up furniture, and Jill & Ron and Michelle & Joe spent many hours sorting through the donations and getting the apartment ready.

February Update - Baby Lam!!!

We have a new baby!!!! On February 6, 2008, Zar Zar gave birth to That That Nai (pronounced Tat Tat Nay). Mom and baby are all doing fine. They came home from the hospital the following day, and the girls are delighted with their new sister. We've been able to provide a few basics such as a crib and some diapers, etc. Jill learned that when That That Nai is visiting her grandparents' apartment, she is sleeping in the doll crib we had found and brought over for the girls to play with.

NoSa has a new job....Hurray!!! He now works at the Lee Lee Oriental Supermarket in Chandler. His hourly wage is about the same, but he doesn't have to get up as early to take two buses like he did for his old job, and it seems that he has steadier work hours, which is really nice for him. If it's sold in Asia, this mega-store likely stocks it. Opened in 1990 by a Cambodian refugee (how encouraging for our refugees to see how well refugees can do in America), Lee Lee specializes in mainstream foods, such as soy sauces, noodles, rice and sesame seeds, along with the unfamiliar. The market's seafood counter, with barracuda, anchovies and live catfish, and its sprawling produce section, with daikon radishes the size of footballs, have no match. There are many languages spoken there and apparently someone keeps thinking NoSa should speak Indian (he was laughing at that joke).

Thursday, December 27

Dianne and Bob returned to the Lam's apartment on Wednesday evening for a follow-up visit.

NoSa very graciously brought them 2 cans of juice and a platter full of bananas, serving them on a little table that he set before them by the sofa.

He broke their hearts when he brought out his phrase book and earnestly and repeatedly pointed to the phrase "I need a good job." Interestingly it was right next to the phrase that said "I need a good paying job," but that was not the one he selected.

NoSa's Malaysian friend earnestly and patiently tried to explain to them that NoSa does not make enough money to pay the rent, while his Malaysian friend is just fine, as he is single, lives with 2 other men, so his share of the rent is just $200+. Dianne was shocked when they brought her 2 paystubs that showed NoSa worked only 20+ hours one week and 30+ hours another week. Not only does he make just $7/hour, he's not even working 40 hours/week - not even close. NoSa is very concerned about his ability to pay the rent - and probably also to pay for food and to pay back their transportation debt for coming here. This must weigh on him, because it's clearly a request that he's made to both Jill and Dianne. Dianne told him that we are praying for him and talking to people about his job need. She also tried to emphasize the importance of practicing English: "good English, good job."

Here are some other observations that Dianne made as they visited with the Lam's extended family:

It seems that men and women don't share the same sofa. And they certainly defer to men. They immediately offer the sofa to Bob, Dianne is clearly secondary. When the Malaysian friend came in, ZarZar's mother quickly got up and gave him her seat on the sofa and she stood, though there was plenty of room for them both to sit without touching. Then she sat down on the white plastic bench in a very cozy arrangement with ZarZar and the little girls.

Dianne and Bob have a brand new ink jet printer that they're not using and will bring to the Lams. Our desire is to get them anything that will facilitate their English. She wonders if the printer wouldn't be more useful in apt 328, given that there are 3 children in school in that apartment, but since they (and their possessions) travel freely back and forth, it will get used wherever it's needed the most.

Tuesday, December 25

On Christmas Day, Jill returned to the Lams apartment with Dianne and Bob as they brought over a "new" used television. NoSa had told Jill that the old one broke and became "basura" (which is "trash" in Spanish), and when Jill emailed the team, several of our team members offered to bring over a used television for them. The Lams seemed very happy and surprised, too.

It was especially gratifying to see that the girls were actually wearing the outfits Jill had picked out. They solved the problem of the too long pants by rolling them up.

It is clear that Jill has developed a special bond with this family through her consistent presence in their lives. She has a very useful phrase book that makes some translation actually possible! And she has learned some useful Burmese phrases that clearly give great pleasure to the Lam family - it's pretty clear that they feel very honored by her effort. The little girls just flock to Jill, and the whole family really looks to her.

They never seem to be passive recipients of our gifts, but curious and active participants in creating their new life here. They are very polite in greeting and shaking everyone's hand - even the little girls - very polite in saying their hellos and good-byes. They sit on the floor and motion us to sit on the couch. It is clear that they have a pride in treating their guests warmly. They are always enthusiastically grateful.

Can you picture this...

• Jill sitting on the floor trouble shooting the computer
• Bob and NoSa also on the floor setting up the tv
• ZarZar sitting on the floor (7 months pregnant!)
• ZarZar's dad in a chair off to the side - the patriarch quietly observing the action from the sidelines
• TinSay crawling in and out of the crib and over the top of the dresser - she's very active
• ThaZin curled up on the couch next to her aunt (Tin Say and ThaZin carry their Christmas present princess dolls everywhere)
• ZarZar's mom next to Dianne on the other side on the couch, with her youngest 8 year old daughter (ZarZar's sister) at her side

It was fun to be in that room with everyone. ZarZar's mother is very outgoing - very eager to tell how many brothers and sisters she has here in this country. Of course, this is all done with hand gestures and a (very) little bit of translation by ZarZar's sister and Jill's phrase book, so it would surely be pretty comical to anyone watching from the outside.

ZarZar's sister is still not working. She is the one who lost her papers, so we don't know quite what is going on there. She is also very outgoing and enthusiastic- more like NoSa than like ZarZar (who is more quiet and retiring). Given her little bit of English, she would be a good candidate for a job.

What fun for these amazing volunteers to make Christmas so special for this refugee family from Burma.

Sunday, December 23

Jill delivered the Lam's Christmas gifts today. The girls loved the little dolls; TinSay got Sleeping Beauty and ThaZin got Cinderella. ZarZar really liked the shirts and NoSa appreciated the jacket and gloves. ThaZin kept one present wrapped up; apparently she wanted a surprise for later. Jill had written down all the words to say that the gifts were Christmas gifts from the church. However, NoSa had no idea what she said so she had to point out "gifts" and "church" in her translation book so he knew what she was talking about.

They have a dresser now next to the crib, which will be for the baby. The baby also has some stuffed toys already. ZarZar is definitely getting larger, and her baby is due on February 27. She seems to move with ease and sits on the floor and gets up without a problem.

NoSa would definitely like a new job. He is concerned about the rent as they were calculating and he has to work over 100 hours to pay the rent at his $7/hour rate.

They are moving along on the English but there is a long way to go. Jill found some useful material in the back of Zack's old workbook for word repetition and fluency, so they practiced on one sheet and she left it with NoSa to build up speed for when she comes back.

TinSay and ThaZin have had their TB problems cleared up. Jill reviewed those letters today to confirm this. That is good news.

NoSa appears willing to talk about Burma. He told Jill that he used to have to carry heavy loads to make money. 20 kilos gave him 4000 of some kind of currency. He carried them on his back and head. It sounded like he carried rocks or stone, and he may have also been carrying them through rocky mountains (it was a picture of waterfall on large rocks that evoked this memory for him) but whatever it was it was heavy. There were DKB (Democratic Karen Budhist Army) soldiers in the hills ready to fire so there was constant concern there. He said the soldiers were there also on the Burmese side of the river until they crossed safely to Thailand.

Thanksgiving Weekend

NoSa works at a car dealership, washing cars. Because he must make several bus connections to get from his apartment to his job, he leaves home at 5 AM to begin work at 8. After a long day of work, he takes the same bus commute back home in the evening, arriving home around 7:30. He would love to find a job closer to home, but for now, they're very grateful for the work that he has, as they are now beginning to take on the payment of their rent, utilities, food, clothing, etc. Because NoSa is gone all day Monday through Friday, and he often works on Saturdays, it means that he is unable to take the ESL (English as a Second Language) classes that are offered for new refugees. He practices with some of our volunteers, but it definitely makes it more challenging to not be able to take the classes.

One of our volunteers, Jill, has been spending every Sunday afternoon with the Lams, helping them to figure out grocery shopping, budgeting, practicing English, etc. We're in the process of buying baby things for the baby that is due next month, as well as Christmas gifts for their first Christmas in America. What fun it is to get to share all these new adventures with the Lams!

November Update

Wonderful news to share!!! ZarZar is expecting a baby in early January! She has had a few health issues since first arriving in the USA in August, so it's understandable that she gets a little tired (not to mention trying to keep up with two very active little girls), but she seems to have good spirits and a fair amount of energy in spite of all that.

NoSa has a job now, which is a wonderful step as they become more and more self-reliant. The family is just beginning to take English lessons, and they are working hard to overcome the challenges of learning a language that is so very different from theirs. The good thing is that there are many people in their apartment complex who are willing to help translate, so communication is not as much of a stumbling block as it could be if it weren't for all that help.

Several of Grace's volunteers brought NoSa, ZarZar, ZarZar's sister, and the two girls: ThaZin and TinSay, to the refugee picnic. It was so fun for the Lam family as they had an opportunity to see many of their friends from the refugee camp that they came from in Thailand. They experienced the fun of playing frisbee and playing on the swings and slides and other equipment in the park. The girls enjoyed the balloons that they were given, although none of the balloons survived the park.

Thank you to all our volunteers who have helped the Lam's over these past several months so they could practice their English and feel connected, and to those who are now beginning to shop for Christmas gifts to make their first Christmas here memorable.

If you'd like to help provide Christmas for the family, or if you'd like to practice English with them, contact Dianne at diannepar@gmail.com